Recently I spent two months creating a piece that was contemplative, spiritual, and filled with personal symbolism. The theme was Dia de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead), a beautiful and faith-filled day celebrating the lives of those who have preceded us in death. I adore every concept of this holiday. It’s filled with love, hope and tradition.

As I was creating this work, I received a call to artists for a Dia de Los Muertos art exhibit at a local garden gallery here in Tucson. I thought to myself… I want this piece to be in this exhibition. I could picture it. It seemed like a perfect match and the idea motivated me to paint for hours daily. It’s a large 40″ x 30″ canvas and I didn’t want to miss any attention to detail. As I worked, I fell more in love with this piece of art and those few folks who saw it raved with positivity.

The painting, titled Not If But When, depicts my return from heaven to see my loved ones on Dia de Los Muertos. I spoke with good friends who are Mexican and celebrate this holiday and they shared their favorite traditions. I incorporated Catholic beliefs and my experience at the local Dia De Los Muertos procession. The narrative for this painting is as follows:

It’s time!  The mourning moon clock is ticking.  My precious alebrije, Romeo, waits at the stop of a spiral stairway with that knowing look sparkling in his eyes. This will be a fantastic day.  Like the Monarch butterflies, my annual migration begins. The scent of marigolds and the music of the Hail Mary lead my way.  Sugar skulls representing earth, faith and the southwest tease tasty sweets. I descend from the heavens to the earth. Candles help illuminate my journey to a colorful rainbow road.  As I get closer, I hear music and joy.  My loving family greets me with open arms. The ofrenda is ready for celebration including photos, Our Lady, candles, cakes, fruit and wine. The sun shines happily on this celebration and the grave markers of those dear to my heart. Grief is universal.  What a beautiful day to celebrate a good life lived. Dia de Los Muertos.

I submitted the painting and all requirements to the show. The rejection email came two days later and began like this, Unfortunately…. and I didn’t need to read any further. Rejection is painful. I was gutted. I cried. Ugly cried. I threatened to quit painting. Why am I wasting my time? Why couldn’t someone else appreciate this painting, it’s symbolism and meaning?

The irony of this story might be within the title, Not If But When. The title references my return from heaven on Dia De Los Muertos, but it is also suitable to the idea of rejection. Rejection in the job search, in relationships, in social groups, in schools, in our fields of work, in sports, in business. It’s going to happen and someone else gets to determine when and where and why. Art is so personal to the artist, but aren’t these other parts of life personal for everyone? I have to remind myself, this isn’t the first time and it won’t be the last.

Rejection really stings, and more so when we don’t know why we were rejected. As difficult as it is some times, we must pick ourselves up off the pavement or the couch and get motivated to get out there again.

That’s where I am today. Sharing my story is therapeutic and humbling. Sharing my art is a risk but I think it’s time to share this one. I will always adore this painting and the deep meaning it holds. I have begun creating another thought-provoking piece. I love the idea already. It’s gritty and not pretty and has a big message which I want to share. As my sweet mother (who hugged me while I cried, by the way) would say, “Onward!”